<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Too much Guinness!Originally posted by Christian Marcussen:
How come you only have it up for a short while?
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How come you only have it up for a short while? If you want me to host it, just send me a PM
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Too much Guinness!Originally posted by Christian Marcussen:
How come you only have it up for a short while?
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ROFL [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Could be [img]smile.gif[/img]
Just got to watch it.
For what it's worth here are my thoughts.
There are some very nice and some graphically strong shots with good lighting. Well done.
I like the count down through the piece especially when the numbers are interwoven into the dialogue and props - a shame you couldn't have done a bit more of that.
As an objective viewer it is VERY easy to be critical the work of others and not taking away from all the hard work that has obviously gone into it. But as an outsider looking in whose comments can obviously be ignored - if this was my film and I could look at it objectively then this is what I would do to it.
Firstly I think it is a bit too long. It would be stronger if the count down was tighter (much less spaced out) - which would mean shortnening and cutting out some shots - which I think it needs. I think you need to get out your scissors. The whole film would be much stronger if the editing was much tighter and some of the exceess and superfluous shots trimmed away. You have some nice shots but don't be so in awe of them that you're afraind to cut them. They'd be even stronger if they were shorter - at the moment the film seems quite self-indulgent - hey look at this cool shot, I'm going to make you watch it for 10 seconds. Forget how long they took to achieve and just cut them together in a way that gives the most impact for the viewer by telling the story in the most economical and direct way.
From what I can remember some things that jumped out for me were:
- I think there are too many flashbacks and some of them last too long. I don't think you need all the cuts to black at all and maybe the white flashes are unecessary.
- I think there are a few too many shots of her running. I would definitely lose a few of those.
- I thought the scene in the bath was strong. I liked it when she put her head under water in slow motion. But I really think the bit of her gasping and coming out of the water should be in real time and a MUCH SHORTER shot - maybe just a second.
- I think the shot of her crying is much too long. We get the idea that she is upset and despite the fact that the acting is good - we don't need to hold on it for so long. I think it would be better if it was a very brief shot - to give a powerful, short and sharp suggestion that she is very upset.
So overall I think the tempo and pace could be increased SUBSTANTIALLY. I think that would give it a less self-indulgent feel and be more powerful and dynamic - it will also avoid people wanting to hit the fast forward buttton (which I also had to fight the urge to resist myself).
I liked it a lot at the end when she said 'one........ Now' and the screen went black. But I don't think you need that final line ' If I can make it through the next ten' I found that uneccessary and slightly cheesy.
Good luck. Hope these comments are of use to you. Good luck with it.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 20, 2005 06:16 AM: Message edited by: Justin M. ]</font>
I agree with all Justin says, apart from the last bit...
I feel the her last comment is absolutely needed... its the whole point of the story. keep it [img]smile.gif[/img]
ace!
I thought she was/is an excellent actress, dont know what the remarks above are all about.
My only comment is that I think it seems a little bit too experimental.
I dont think experimental suits the subject matter. And so doesnt really add enough/anything....detracts from it really...
But I liked the structure (the countdown) with the memories and it came across to me as very natural. Which I imagine is quite an acheivement for such a fractured 'script'.
Perhaps it was a little long, and dwelling, but at least her seconds stretched out into almost a minute each....maybe thats something to be greatful for.
miker said:
>And if all she does is sit in that chair
>lamenting then I just wish she'd stick her head
>in the oven and turn on the gas.
Must admit that occurred to me too.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 23, 2005 08:44 AM: Message edited by: eddie123456789 ]</font>
Interesting.
Goddard said every edit is a lie.
To Justin/Others who agreed, a shorter cut did exist. It was much snappier and got to the point a lot faster. There was just one problem.
I thought it was crap.
To me it all felt like a gimmick. None of the mini scenes had any room to breathe. There was no flow. It was just chop chop chop. Not the editors fault I felt. The whole thing just felt fake.
So I asked a very very experienced editor what I should do. He told me that editing isn't always about taking away.
Though I'm not familiar with him, Van Sant has been taking this idea (possibly to extremes) in his recent Gerry, Elephant and now Last Days. Sometimes boring is real.
"Real" has become a very misused/abused word. But the idea of what is real in film remains interesting to me.
Her crying scene for instance- you might think its too long- but it is real. If I cut away before she comes to a natural stop- thats not.
I made the film with this whole approach in mind. Its not for everyone, but I humbly suggest that it is a worthwhile experiment.
To those who still feel I should have got the hacksaw out, at least know that some of the best stuff I've ever shot ended up on the cutting floor. I reckon you could make an excellent music video with the leftovers.
Thats the first time that has ever happened.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 25, 2005 01:42 PM: Message edited by: Generic Skinhead ]</font>
It's something Scorcese says too: along the lines of "to hold that shot a bit longer, it gives it more significance"
Reality (for most people) is incredibly boring so if you're not delivering escape you'd better have a good, significant, reason why not.
To me at least, editing isn't about holding a shot or taking anything away. It's purely about putting rhythm in the structure. More like a piece of music than a piece of narrative. I subscribe to the Michael Kahn school of cut with the gut. Do what feels right, not always what is technically correct.
Whatever you do and however you do it - you have to do whatever you think works best.
This is just my opinion but I don't think it needs major changes at all - it is good. There were just a few little bits that seem less considered than they could be. For me anyway.
One example being - I really don't see the need for 3 or 4 shots interspersed throughout the film of her jogging. If the idea of the jogging is to show that she was healthy and fit - then good - but you only need to show it once.
Putting work up here is very brave becasue everyone has an opinion - the above is just mine being thrown out into the ether. Feel free to totally ignore it if you disagree - and good luck with the film. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 26, 2005 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Justin M. ]</font>
I don't want to come across as defensive- I wouldn't have put it up if I didn't want any honest opinions.
It hasn't worked for you, but there is a good bit more to the jogging than that. It's a mini narrative of its own within the film.
In the first jogging shot, shes just jogging along looking fairly content. But by the last shot she's not jogging anymore. She's running- full pelt. She's anything but content.
Maybe shes running from something? The fact that she can't deal with her situation. Look at her face. This isn't just a woman partaking in a hobby.
She's in obvious pain and discomfort as she runs out of breath. FInally when she stops running she sees the young boy.
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